XS or XSi or D40 or D60?!? Which one for my needs?

[ZoicX]

I have a strong interest in photography, but with the demands of routine work and family life, I haven't been able to devote the time and attention I'd like to. Hopefully, this is the year where that changes. Would like to start by purchasing a DSLR, and would greatly appreciate any pointers on the right one for my needs.

1. Will be taking a bunch of family (routine + vacation) photos. Have a toddler (seems like he's constantly on crack - as most toddlers are) who refuses to sit down and/or pose for a photo. Which is fine since action shots are more fun and rewarding any way. [The XSi has 9 AF points vs 3 for the D60 - I'm led to believe this is particularly important for fast moving objects (read: kids)].
2. Will be taking a good mix of indoor and outdoor shots - with a ton of low light situations.
3. Am interested in a bundle (kit + zoom lens) deal.
4. Have played around with the Canon XTi and the Nikon D60, and was fairly comfortable with both.
5. Ideally, am looking to spend in the >$800 range for the bundle.

I realize that my request (and specific needs) are fairly common, and am hopeful that your input can help many others like me.

Thanks in advance.

[stanj]

This post is rather old yet had no responses so I will jump in. The model might not be as important as the brand in that whatever you invest in lenses will prevent you from upgrading into another brand. So the question is which brand to get married to.
Both offer a good selection of quality lenses and accessories but the range of lens choices gives a slight advantage to Canon while the quality of the fewer lenses in the Nikon line is better. The lighting system with speedlights has Canon offering some good and reliable flash units such as the 580 but most will agree that the Nikon CLS system is unbeaten in the world of on or off camera flash systems.
Comparing the specific camera, the Xsi has more features and is a bit more modern in design, higher resolution and a faster AF system than the D60. There have been some reported problems with the Canon AF system but my friends who have the Xsi don't mention anything being amiss. If you are considering this to be a one-time purchase and not a product line with an expanded involvement as you progress, the 450d Xsi is more camera for the money. The kit lens is junk however and a real lens will be needed very quickly. If you could spend a little more and get the D90 Nikon with the kit 18-105VR lens you would have a dramatic step up in performance and build quality. For a low cost plastic lens, the 18-105VR is remarkably sharp and versatile, and focuses fast.
The spec sheets to not give an indication of the most important criteria however, feel in the hand. When I was seeking to buy a DSLR after many years with Canon film SLR I was looking at the D60 and Xsi also. The specs gave the edge to the Xsi. I went to a local mom&pop camera store that was a hangout for pros I compared the two, the Canon felt a little more toy like. The sales girl mentioned an alternative that was outside my stated budget. At first I said no thanks, my budget was firm. She left the new model on the counter next to the Xsi and D60 so naturally I picked it up and instantly knew by feel and fit that this camera was screaming "take me home". I bought the new model, the D90 and did not realize how lucky I was, in every criteria it was a dramatic step up from either the D60 or Xsi. There is nothing less than $2500 with better low light performance, and it is just a very capable camera. Now, after it has been out for a while, it can be found discounted at reputable stores and on-line sellers for $800 or so and refurb for $650. Most people including me, paid $1299 last fall.
Since that time I has licensed several photos to commercial promotions that paid several times over my original investment, bought some expensive fast lenses and added a lot of lighting options but most of the time I still shoot with the kit 18-105VR lens that came with it. It IS larger and heavier, than the Xsi and D60 but the larger ergonomically designed case, and better grip make it easier to handle. If all else was equal except for display, the D90 would still win, its 3" 930,000 pixel hi res display is beautiful and really help take better photos.