Amusing business story

[Rhys]

Over the past few days I have had an entertaining series of emails.

First an individual emailed me from a free webmail account asking whether I could photograph the funeral for a terminally ill relative. That had me thinking Nigerian scam almost immediately - especially since the individual did not sign his email nor gave a first name on his email. Further checking revealed it had come from a server known to be compromised.

I played along, quoting my normal rates and asking his location but heard nothing for a few days. Then I had an email asking me whether I would photograph the corpse in its casket at the funeral home rather than the whole funeral. I replied that I would and again asked his location.

A couple of days went by and then I received another email. I was informed of the name of the funeral home but the name was a bit mangled. I traced the funeral home and contacted them but they could not identify the individual given the surname and initial on his emails. In this same email the individual stated their daughter was to get married and would I photograph the wedding. I replied certainly and quoted my rates.

A further few days went by and then I was asked why I didn't have more wedding photos on my online portfolio. I explained that my physical portfolio which he was welcome to inspect has more photos due to contractual limitations with couples photographed before my website went live.

A further few days went by and then they wrote back saying that without seeing photos they could not make a decision, given that their niece (nice change of daddy there) lived in Maryland, and that as such they might go with another photographer. I didn't see any point in responding to this one.

I'm not entirely sure what was going on in all those emails but given the complete lack of information - even when pressed - it stinks of fish. The fact that a funeral was being planned for somebody not yet dead was also very fishy. The fact that the conversation went from funeral to wedding within a single email was even fishier. Anybody got some fries I can have with that fish?

It just cracks me up that somebody would try something like this on - I wasn't born yesterday!

[erichlund]

Rhys,
Don't be surprised to see more and more of this. The internet lets people be so anonymous. I'd recommend you create an online interview form. When you get an anonymous request, reply with the form and indicate that it will have to be filled out or an appointment made before you can commit to any services. It can include your rates for various services.

You should leave open the option of direct contact rather than the form, since some people will not want to deal with that and really just want an easy way and invitation to directly contact you.

As a minimum, the form should request contact information, and have an open block for a complete description of services requested.

People who are not committed to doing business are less likely to continue to bother you if you are forcing them to commit, even if gently. I suspect there is nothing nefarious going on, just a shy person who isn't familiar with doing business in this manner. Now, if they start asking for your bank account info, then you should run away fast.

[Rhys]

If they're so shy that they refuse to give their name, contact information, to meet or even give the right name for the funeral home then I have serious doubts about their genuineness. I'd much rather miss out on doing trade with people that look and sound dicey than to attempt to do so with people. I'm implementing a policy now where email from free email accounts is discarded.

Hell, they didn't even fill in the web form!

[cdifoto]

I get lots of BS inquiries. It's part of doing business. I also get lots of sales calls. Also part of doing business. No point starting a new thread every time it happens though. Put your phone number in plain sight with an invitation to call. More often than not, if they're serious they'll want to talk to you.

[Rhys]

I get lots of BS inquiries. It's part of doing business. I also get lots of sales calls. Also part of doing business. No point starting a new thread every time it happens though. Put your phone number in plain sight with an invitation to call. More often than not, if they're serious they'll want to talk to you.

Exactly. I have my phone number in plain view. The only way they could have got the email address was if they kept getting the captcha wrong on the webform. That's a downside to the smtp module on my website.

I cannot figure out what they're after though. It started looking like a Nigerian scam then went bananas. I knew from the first email it wasn't a serious enquiry.

[cdifoto]

I cannot figure out what they're after though. It started looking like a Nigerian scam then went bananas. I knew from the first email it wasn't a serious enquiry.

Assuming it really was a scam (vs someone who really just doesn't have it all together upstairs), the ending usually comes out something like "I (scammer) send you full payment for services PLUS extra money. You send me difference with personal check." In the meantime, the payment the scammer sends is fraudulent, while your good check is on the way to them.

It's the same as any other Nigerian scam, except the "Exiled Prince" is now the "Groom" and the "Excess Oil Earnings" are the "Wedding Services Payment."

[cdifoto]

Having said that, sometimes it's just a local nut. I've had calls from (what seems like) the same woman, only the photography services she desires change. First time it was her and her husband in their military uniforms, next to an old tree, except they could only fit into the top half anymore so from the waist down they'd be in sweatpants. Second time it was her twin boys' senior photos, except they aren't into any sports or clubs or anything to have the usual "theme" photos, so she was thinking just have them stand in front of a random horse, and also another shot in their basement as a recreation of the infamous dogs playing poker photo (http://unpopulartruths.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/dogs-playing-poker.jpg), since poker and video games is all they ever do. Not sure what she'll call about next time around, but I do know she has a knack for wasting time, going into her entire history, including medications she's on or "forgot to take today."

[Rhys]

Oh I get timewasting phonecalls too - usually somebody trying to flog some search engine, insurance or somebody that wants to witter about photography.

I love the search engine people. The conversation goes like this:
Caller - Hello I just found your website.
Me - Yes?
Caller - I think I can help you make it easier to find.
Me - How?
Caller - <expands on some BS plan or other>
Me - Oh yes?
Caller - Would you like to be included in our search engine?
Me - How did you find my website?
Caller - Through Google.
Me - Exactly.
Caller - Huh?
Me - Grow up, get a real job and don't call this number again.

[cdifoto]

Hah yeah I got those too. I also got one wanting me to pay them $90 a month to add my listing to various yellow pages type websites which I could (and did) do myself for free.

[Rhys]

Hah yeah I got those too. I also got one wanting me to pay them $90 a month to add my listing to various yellow pages type websites which I could (and did) do myself for free.

Isn't it amazing the number of business leeches there are?

When I ran my computer repair business in Britain I was forever getting agencies calling trying to find whether I had vacancies and trying to offer me staff. I also had (thanks to the UK government's efforts to force the unemployed to take non-existent work) at least 30 letters a week from under-qualified, unqualified, unemployable victims of the state writing nurgatory letters to try to get a job. Often they had no idea who they were writing to or why. After a few appeals to the UK Employment Service to stop writing these pointless letters I just gave up and binned everything. There's a few Brazilian rainforests went through my bin in 10 years, I can tell you!

Here, I managed largely to stop my junkmail but I still get Domain Registry of America sending me fake bills every now and then.

[cdifoto]

I get the same fake DRA bills. I opened the first one, thinking perhaps my registrar had been sold and it was a legitimate letter informing me of the change. I've since given them no second look.

[Rhys]

Of all the business mishaps, perhaps the most bizarre I've ever seen was when my wife employed a new assistant. The new assistant interviewed well, was recently qualified and enthusiastic. The first day the new assistant didn't turn up and my wife being a forgiving soul figured the assistant made an error about the first day. The next day the assistant did turn up - on time, blind drunk and filled up to the brim with xanex. Needless to say, the assistant was fired on the spot but as the assistant refused to leave the police had to be summoned to haul the newly sacked assistant away. My wife's rueful comment - "whenever I try to hire somebody, all the weirdos come crawling out of the woodwork".

Believe it or not, I used to get fake DRA bills when I was living in the UK. I have always used 123-reg for my domains and had wondered whether the company had been sold and renamed. In fact 123-reg has changed hands many times but still runs as 123-reg.

[Mark_48]

Rhys,

I've gathered reading a good number of your posts that your fairly open minded to what you'll photograph. Would you have pursued this one.....

Yanking the Chain or was It Real?
A few years ago I had an IM popup on the screen from someone I didn't know. They said they had seen a personal profile on me stating I was a photographer for hire which was true and asked if I'd be interested in a photography job doing some photographs of themself. I inquired to the where and when type questions and didn't get much of a straight forward answer, but decided to play along at this point to see where this was going to go. Had no idea of male or female at this point either and still don't know. Anyhow with a little further prompting it sounded like the location may be sort of local and I pushed for a few more details, upon which they stated they were to be chained or tied up in a cellar in various states of semi-nudity or complete nudity to have the photos taken. After about falling out of my chair laughing, I graciously declined the job offer. Never heard from him/her again. Had a good laugh the next day at work as well when I told the story to all.


Mark....

[cdifoto]

I woulda done that one! Who knows...could be the next President. Those pics will be worth $$$$ during the election year.

[Mark_48]

Don, You know it could have been a transvestite wielding a Nikon :eek:

[cdifoto]

Not that there's anything wrong with that! :D

[Rhys]

Mark, I had an offer similar to that from a bus driver I used to know. He wanted photos of himself and another guy plus his wife in sexual positions while wearing female and male attire and various sex toys. That would have been mildly interesting and I'd have done that - as long as one of my friends could come along just to make sure nothing funny happened. Then I discovered he wanted me to join in the "games" which is when I lost interest totally. It didn't stop him trying to get me interested again.